tvaros:

i love watching my innocent friends slowly transform into beautiful horny butterflies as we get older

battybatty:

Roll me up in a blanket like a burrito and kiss me

gaylothasterror:

The other night I walked downstairs in my Dave cosplay. I had to run and grab my laptop charger and my brother was on the computer, glued to Minecraft. I’m talking to him, about to run back upstairs, my back to him and he screams. When I turned around he was pointing at me and yelling, “Who ARE YOU?!” I haven’t laughed that hard in awhile.

sweeneytad:

*dentist slaughters family in front of you*

they’re bleeding because you don’t floss

emilioestevez:

story time

so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.

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cantankerouscrab:

hi hello if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today

colferbrian said:

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